25 August 2010
~No More Freedom Temporary!!!~ Labels: Degree, Personal, Random, thinking, Tired
Gonna loss my freedom temporary...
Y?
1) Yr2 Sem1 gonna start on 30th Aug...
Exams will be in dec...
Near my b'day...
(dun really think/celebrate abt it...
Bad memories... Argh!~)
2) PCN RI exam will be on 1st Sept...
Hai...
Only left a few days to study...
But nw i hv no mood too study...
Play starcraf II...
1 mission and i felt bored...
1 thing to look fwd is that gonna hv a KTV session this fri nite...
Hope i k release some stress a bit...
Side note:
Emailing with a fellow colleague made me think...
"Am i really, who i think i am?
What do i really want?"
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 8/25/2010 11:24:00 PM
09 August 2010
~THTH~ Labels: 2010, Feelings, Kaylen, Personal, Pissed, thinking, Tired
When i was young, i rmb reading a book.
It taught me the meaning of THTH.
Which means:
Too Hot Too Handle
Tat is happening to me.
I am really starting to dunno how to handle her when she is having a temper...
No matter wat i do or say it will always be wrong...
******
E.g.1
A situation happens,
Thus she suggest Method 1.
But i say i wanna to do Method 2.
Straight she will say i go against her, when the thing is done.
E.g.2
A situation happens,
Thus she suggest Method 1.
But i say i wanna to do Method 2.
Seeing her face black black...
I did Method 1 as she suggested...
Straight she will say i dun do what i said and end up using her method, when the thing is done.
******
and for today...
Send my mother to work abt 830am...
Meet my uncle after that since he had things to pass to her...
Since was morning...
Decided to take breakfast with him...
Uncle talk to her,
But she reply without any eye contact...
So i jus told him she is not feeling well...
Thus cutting short the chatting with him and walk to the car...
******
After breakfast with my uncle
I: Lets go hm, and let u sleep since ur still sick...
She: I dun wan to sleep!
I: Den where u wanna go?
She: Today national day, gt place to go meh?
I: ...
Once hm
She laid in bed, with blanket over her body and a small cloth over her head...
Seeing something amiss, i acted...
I: Wat's wrong?
She: Bored!
I: So u wanna go out? Where?
She: Today national day, gt place to go meh?
I: ...
******
I was at my wits end...
Not knowing wat to do...
Pondering a few hrs beside her...
While she sleeps...
I jus snap...
Showered and went out...
Leaving a note to her...
"I go out,
If u wan u wait,
If not go hm."
A few hrs ltr..
She called...
******
She: where are u?
I: Bugis Junction...
She: Y there? With who?
I: Walking ard... Alone...
She: Y u nv bring me?
I: U told me nowhere to go cos national day wat...
She: I was asking u!
& shortly hp went dead due to no batt...
******
After that went back hm,
bring her out for dinner....
It became a Q&A session...
Like "wat to eat?", "drinks?", "cant finish a nt?", "feeling better?" and etc...
Where i ask, she answer...
not more den 5 words...
And she rather look at a fly on the floor den have eye contact with me...
Even when i send her hm at the stairs on her floor...
Avoided eye contact again...
Any1...
Pls gv me ideas...
I really dunno wat to do...
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 8/09/2010 10:49:00 PM
25 February 2010
~tired~ Labels: Personal, thinking, Tired
Tired of work...
Work like hell...
Clear ppl's shit...
Tired of manager...
Do nth...
Jus react when complaint...
Tired of doing hmwk...
Till pass midnight...
Tired of nt enough sleep...
cos everyday waking up 545am...
Nw onli hope everything gets better...
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 2/25/2010 12:48:00 AM
29 December 2009
~Principle~ Labels: Feelings, Personal, thinking
My basic principle in life
1.Always treat ppl the way u want them to treat you
Yet this has become my hardwired defense mechanism...
When ppl treat me like a clown,
i treat him like a clown...
When ppl act blur,
i act even more blur...
& etc...
2.Nv let work affect ur life and like wise
Wat happen at work is work
Wat happen at hm is hm
Nv bring one to the other...
The result will always be regretful...
But by tat time...
The damage is done...
For nw,
I only can say...
I dunno...
i should be angry or sad....
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 12/29/2009 09:22:00 PM
04 August 2009
~6 in 1~ Labels: Degree, Family, Kaylen, NS, thinking, Yard
Gonna play 6 roles starting from next week...
A brother who is looking out after a wedded sister
A son for mother
A BF for my 老婆
A student for myself
A engineer for the yard
A NSman who needs to keep fit for IPPT
Will last till i graduate...
5yrs...
Can i make it?
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 8/04/2009 10:21:00 PM
~On With My Clumsy Life~ Labels: Car, Degree, Family, Kaylen, Movie, thinking
*Note: The following is significant event updating*
Friday had Sec class gathering...
End abit late...
Enjoyed myself...
*Pics in Facebook*
On Sunday...
Due to sis's R.O.M...
i was able to escape from working a full Sunday...
Bt worked half day...
Took leave on following Monday to rest...
Bt found out i gt too many things to do...
1)Fix car's leaking power steering oil
2)Service my HP before warranty expires
3)Buy stationary for Tuesday's QET
4)Spend time with 老婆
Thus spend the whole morning arranging no.1 & 2...
Afternoon rest till abt 5pm...
Went to collect back the car...
Plus do pt no.3...
While the whole day doing pt no.4...
& being clumsy...
And entertaining calls from the yard...
*Note: i'm always clumsy when i'm with my loves 1...
Dun ask y... Even i also dunno...*
Following Tuesday also on leave...
*Means today...
Means Sunday ~ Tuesday...
No work stress...*
WooHoo!!!
Cos QET is in the morning...
Orientation and collection of student card in the early afternoon...
Planing to catch a movie with 老婆 if possible...
Hope i dun fail the test...
& hope the yard dun call at the wrong time...
P.S
老婆...
I know i wun hv as much time as b4...
Thus as i promised u...
I will spend as much time as possible with u...
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 8/04/2009 12:57:00 AM
~Timetable~
My Part-time timetable is out...
As below...
Anyone same class as me...
Exempted from fundamental physics (monday) due to diploma...
English Module (Wed) if i fail the QET later @ 0930hrs...
Orientation in the afternoon...
Gonna sleep soon...
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 8/04/2009 12:19:00 AM
01 June 2009
~Ups & Downs~ Labels: Feelings, Kaylen, Personal, thinking
Tis shall be a short post...
Today(Sunday) there were many ups & downs...
To many to write down...
& dun really wanna write down...
Cos over all...
I shall onli say...
It was nt a gd day...
Dun think i will hv a gd sleep tonite...
Dun ask...
Below is jus a hint of 1 of the things that happened...
P.S
Sry... lao po... For pissing u off...
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 6/01/2009 12:33:00 AM
25 May 2009
~feeling v 幸福... even though feeling v sick...~ Labels: Car, Feelings, Kaylen, Personal, Sick, thinking
Was feeling unwell on fri nite...
When attending a project dinner...
Sat when to work...
Temperature was ard 37.0°C...
Felt like crap...
Thus leave work half day...
Plan to continue on sunday....
Dear came to my hse to look after me...
was nt expecting her to come...
so it was a pleasant surprise for me...
Was feeling bad cos dun hv the energy to send her back hm...
Tis was the 1st tat i nv send her back hm...
Woke up on sunday...
Still felt OK...
Took my temperature...
& it was a freaking 38.0°C...
Thus gv up the tot on going to work...
& went straight to NUH A&E...
Was given 2 days of MC...
Given medication for normal fever...
Guess i'm nt class as possible swine flu...
Cos they nv use the test kit on me...
Return hm to sleep again...
Dear came and look after me again...
Even bought lunch for me...
Ahh... so touch...
*yaya... giggle away... i know ur reading this...*
She was like my "private nurse"...
Keep on reminding me to take med...
Was feeling bad again cos nv send her back hm again...
Tis was the 2nd tat i nv send her back hm...
Hope i get well fast...
Oh ya...
My mother disturb me & dear...
Cos today market close for washing down...
Thus no food to eat...
Mother hinted dear to cook...
Hehe...
But ltr mother commented she jus making fun...
Today feeling a lot better other then the stupid sore throat...
Feel like going to see COE cars...
If really like will jus get it...
*COE cars = mean cars above 10yrs old... literally jus paying the COE value + transfer of ownership + insurance for car*
Aiming for below 10K...
Which means left ard 3yrs of COE which means car is abt 16~17yrs old...
No pt getting a new car as i'm working in a shipyard...
Will damage the paint & etc...
Gtg...
Logging off...
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 5/25/2009 08:57:00 AM
01 May 2009
~Holding the very first hands i had hold 15yrs ago...~ Labels: Enjoy, Personal, thinking
Hehe...
As the title says...
Basically...
I dun remember much memories from my pri school days...
But after dear came into my life...
Memories start resurfacing...
Well my dear is actually my pri school classmate...
And she was quite short...
Thus she was always at the front when the class line up...
I remember on 1 occasion...
I think i did something wrong...
Thus was force to stand in the front...
Still remember i was force to hold her hands...
After the class reached the next destination...
i escape back into the middle of the line up...
Haha...
Destiny or 月老 playing games?
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 5/01/2009 10:04:00 AM
14 April 2009
~1st quarter of 2009 review~ Labels: 2009, Degree, Family, Feelings, Frens, Personal, thinking, Yard
Basically jus a small summary of my life as of nw...
Career
Although gt piss off by ppls...
Bt get a lot of respect from seniors...
And praise from owner side...
Studies
Although i dun have money to study full time...
I hv applied part time...
Still waiting for result...
Should nt be much of a problem...
Family
Although nt earning a lot...
At least i'm nt taking money from mother...
And still giving her monthly allowance...
Even gv extra when CNY and bonus came out...
Mother smile till can onli see her teeth & nt her eye...
Guess i met her target/expectation in career
Self
May gt a car to drive...
The kind which is abt 17~18 yrs old car...
With onli 2~3yrs left...
If i gt the NTU place...
Nt becos i gt money...
Bt becos of time constraint...
From yard to NTU...
Frens
Found real frens...
Frens tat were ard when i nd them...
Frens tat "tahan" my weird behaviors at times...
Thanks guys...
So far...
I'm contented with wat i have achieve so far...
Yet...
I feel there is something missing...
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 4/14/2009 09:35:00 PM
~Exemption~
Applied part time B.Mech Eng @ NTU...
Will i get the above exemption?
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 4/14/2009 09:32:00 PM
26 March 2009
~爱就宅一起~ Labels: Frens, thinking, 爱就宅一起
Was watching tis show...
Saw something v interesting again...
"卡沙巴王子:
一个人,
如果只追求幻影,
他所得到的满足也将是幻影。"
Any1 can translate to english for me???
I wanna...
Share it with my frens...
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 3/26/2009 12:35:00 AM
15 March 2009
~Wet Day~ Labels: Enjoy, Music, SJAB, thinking, Tired, Yard
B4 i start...
I think there is something wrong with my brain...
Usually i will hv a song that i will like stuck in my head...
Usually its a new song...
Bt these few days...
I hv 2 songs stuck in my head...
And they are damn extreme...
They are:
Breathe by 迷路兵
*abt ur love 1 leaving u*
默默 by 飞轮海
*abt slowly falling in love with some 1*
Ok...
Back to topic...
Worked half day...
Went hm to change cos going roller blade @ ECP.
With Trista, Kenny, YS and her bf...
Reach there ard 3plus...
Blade bit & started to rain...
Ended ard 5plus...
Had dinner @ Burger King...
Took 196 back...
Along the way...
Heavy jam at Nicol Highway...
Most prob due to the IT show...
gt off at Suntec and walk to Bugis to take MRT until Jurong Pt...
Loiter ard there b4 going back...
My journey today was like...
CW - JR - CW - Clementi - ECP - JR - CW
CW - Commonwealt (hm)
JR - Jurong
ECP - East Coast Park
Literally 1 end of SG to another...
Still haven gt a new MP3....
Mayb will go challenger to take a look 2molo...
Interested in...
Duno when it be out...
Nw setting case for the SJ competition that i be judging...
Still cannot disclose the detail untill the comp is over...
U guys jus hv to wait until this sat is over...
As the comp will be held this Sat @ SJAB NHQ...
*Obvious rite*
Going sleep liao
Nitez all...
[(-_-)] Zzzz...
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 3/15/2009 11:56:00 PM
~IT Fair~ Labels: Enjoy, Frens, Music, thinking, Tired, Yard
After work ard 2pm plus...
Meet up with Kenny & Trista...
Went to Commonwealth Car Mall...
Trista wanted to query abt buying a car...
After explanations from the pro...
She gt even more confuse...
(＾□＾)LOL...
After tat...
Meet up with Gerald & went to IT fair...
In Suntec we saw...
Anyway...
Gerald wanted to gt a portable hard disk...
While i was looking for a new MP3...
Gerald gt wat he wanted...
Bt nth caught my eye...
-_-"'
Sian 1/2...
On the train took a candid pic of Trista...
I call it...
Sleeping Buddha Stance 99...
Sleep while standing in a moving train...
(^o^)
*I'm damn evil*
BTW...
Kenny gave me a v cool website...
See it at ur own risk...
http://club.pep.ne.jp/~hiroette/en/facemarks
Wonder wats will happen 2molo...
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 3/15/2009 12:00:00 AM
02 February 2009
~Food For Thought~
Very bz with clearing "shit" from a project...
Even hv 2 work on sunday...
Nw gt 2 prepare for audit on next mon or tues...
All becos tat guy nv listen 2 everyones' advice 1yr ago...
Hai...
Luckily gt to distress at KTV on last sat nite...
Enjoyed myself...
Hope the rest felt the same...
Anyway...
Back to the topic/title...
I believe everyone has read the fairytale "Cinderella" ...
Everyone knows the story ends with "Happy ever after..."
Bt has anyone...
Ever though wat happened after the story ends???
That is like the real world...
When things happen and its so called settled...
To passerby, its "closed" - a.k.a end of story...
But to the person...
He/she will nd 2 carry on living...
With that memory/experience...
Whether he/she wants it or not...
Looking at a even bigger picture...
There is no wrong or rite, gd or bad in this world...
Everything is done for a reason...
And if u notice...
wrong or rite...
gd or bad...
Its always with reference to something...
Thus if u look at it individually...
and nt comparing or with a reference...
Mayb...
Jus mayb...
U will understand hw the person feels...
hw the person thinking process works...
There was a saying...
"Understand other be4 getting understood..."
Hmm...
Looks like the "Logical/mature" side of me is more dominant today...
Hope i dun scare anyone...
Cos most frens onli see my "Lay back/Happy go lucky side"...
Btw...
Changing the background song...
As its monday le...
Enjoy....
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 2/02/2009 08:38:00 PM
27 January 2009
~Sian!!! (a.k.a Bored!!! in proper English)~ Labels: CNY, Feelings, Personal, thinking, Yard
as stated in the title...
is wat i'm feeling nw...
Y?
Firstly...
For chinese, the 1st day of CNY...
U will gather with relatives of ur paternal side...
On the 2nd day...
U will gather with relatives of ur maternal side...
Some will visit both side on the first day...
and visit frens on the 2nd...
For me...
From a single parent family...
*Frens will know y...
Lazy to elaborate...
Anyway I'm wif my mother...*
Sumhw the relatives come on the 1st day afternoon...
Thus today the 2nd day...
No one came...
I'm super damn bored...
Wanted to go out...
Gt nowhere i wan to go...
& cannt find any1 due to the festive season...
Even my sis went to visit the bf's family...
Secondly...
2molo hv to start work...
Even though i know nth much can be done...
As most of the ppl working in the yard are nt from sg...
Thus there will a lack of manpower...
From workers...
All the way up to maybe SGM... (Senior General Manager)
Anyway...
Spent my day watching a jap drama...
Titled: クロサギ/The Black Swindler/Kurosagi
*For detail of the show jus click the link*
Intro by frens...
Cos they know i like this kind of shows...
Shows that is abt using wits and brain...
e.g Deathnote, Kindaichi, Code Geass, Liar Game & etc...
Aft watching up to Ep6...
I feel tat...
The main character is sad...
The reason of y he is doing all those things...
The reason of y he is actually alone...
The reason of y he feels that there is nth important 2 him anymore...
Yet he is a gentle, warm and kind heart person inside...
Or is it becos i see abit of myself in him???
tat reminds me of the sadness inside me???
I dun know...
Alot of things happen to me recently...
Tat change me alot...
I jus feel tat...
I dun trust things, ppl & ect...
Like b4...
*Nt becos of the show...*
Mayb cos I dun wan to be hurt anymore...
Suddenly i remembered a saying in a show:
"Use ur kindness to overcome ur sadness and become stronger..."
Haha...
I think the show triggered the emotional side of me...
Bt i will finish watching it...
Its nt like me 2 leave thing done half way...
If i work on sumthing...
I will do 2 my best...
If nt i wun even pick it up...
Doing things halfheartedly...
Will nt only harm urself...
Bt also the ppl ard & the ppl who help pick up the pieces...
I think tis post is too long...
Better stop nw...
Happy CNY!!!
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 1/27/2009 08:57:00 PM
14 January 2009
~A New Motto In Life~
Change my profile a bit...
Check it out...
Thinking abt the past...
Will nt change anything...
So...
Jus learn form it...
& work towards the future...
Cos the only thing we can truly change are 2 things...
Ourselves and the future...
We can nv change others...
We can nv change the environment...
Bt we can change ourselves...
To change our perceptive of our views...
To change hw ppl look at us...
Tat is my new motto in life...
BTW
i found a catchy song in my MP3...
林俊傑-不潮不用花錢
Enjoy...
Mayb i will learn this...
For KTV session...
LOL...
Money is nt everything...
Jus be contented wif wat u hv...
Dun slog for money...
Live life to the fullest...
Dun tell me u will stop when u earn enough...
Cos money can nv be enough...
Comment in my tagboard if u anyting to say...
i'm opened-minded...
Nw...
Back to my Gundam building...
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 1/14/2009 08:45:00 PM
11 January 2009
~Interesting Post by Jaz™~
Saw a very interesting post on Jaz™'s blog
here is the details:
"Sunday, January 11, 2009
This entry from my fren's blog is quite meaningful, learn how to treasure what's in front of you so that you wun regret it...
人啊~往往不自觉中选择忽略~
忘了去把握拥有的那刻~~
有谁会懂得去珍惜~
‘珍惜’两字~
相当熟悉的字眼~
如何让人去认识珍惜~~
珍惜。。。。。
在生命中的每一天~
不错过该有的机会~~
该点头的时候请别摇头~~~[因为倔强是人的天性]。。。
在生活中，
每个人扮演的角色是一样的~
只是在不同的场合，不一样的相处方式，
去表达自己的宽怀与爱而已~~~~~
~~当你需要爱时请大声地告诉你的爱~~
Posted by Jason 俊维"
Hmm...
It make ppl think...
Hw abt u guys???
Any comments???
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 1/11/2009 02:16:00 PM
06 January 2009
.::Time 2 move on::. Labels: Feelings, Norm, Personal, thinking, Yard
Things were return 2 her...
Things were return 2 me...
(not expecting tat)
Lines are drawn...
Some habits were rub off from her...
Hopefully she dun take it as a hint...
Of me as waiting or anything...
100% recovery...
Time 2 move on...
Time 2 let go...
No pt staying at the same spot...
Anyway back to my life...
Finally...
My washing machine is replace...
Was washing clothes by hand past few days...
Reminds me of army dayz...
Hai...
Stupid company gt limited coms...
Think i will bring my laptop 2 work from nw onwards...
Hope tat will put out the "fire" faster...
The data hand over was dame messed up...
Looks like going 2 hv alot of OT tis mth...
加油！加油！加油！
~ I've Suffocated Myself At;
x 1/06/2009 11:03:00 PM
